by Christoph Jenkins
win for loosin’/ Why ‘do I keep choosin’ to sin when I know it’s God who lives within…me?/ I can’t
keep blamin’ the enemy!/ My flesh has risen to the surface/ And then I got distracted from my purpose/
…And..I willingly...gave in/ Like a mischievous child, I’m misbehavin’/ I left my safe haven and now
it feels like I can’t go back/ Now, the guilt weighs in/ And when guilt finds it’s way in/ I tend to keep
my praise in/ I feel unworthy of praisin’ God/ So ultimately my faith…caves in/ But I’m learnin’/
Because the pages of my Bible keep turning and turning/ My heart strings have begun yearning for a
more intimate relationship with my savior/ And now my behavior is aligned with the lifestyle of a true
believer/ Now, I’m not sayin’ that life gets easier just because I live a life for Christ/ The devil tries
even harder to entice my flesh/ But nonetheless, I rest assured that “No weapon formed against me shall
prosper/ Therefore, I will not accept what the enemy has to offer.
Why I wrote this poem:
I wrote this poem during a period of my life when I was very self conscious about how I was treating God. I felt like every time I fell short of His glory (sinned), I wasn't worthy of His love, grace, and mercy.. I wouldn't pray because I didn't think He'd want to hear from me...on account of my behavior. I was ashamed. I condemned myself. I did the very thing that the word says we don't have to do; "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." Because of this truth, I no longer condemn myself because God doesn't. I am now more knowledgeable and less naive to the fact that all I have to do is be humble enough to be convicted and and repent of the sins I've committed. Condemning ourselves is a trick of the devil and I am, now, more aware.
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