Potent Poetry: Not By Myself!

NOT BY MYSELF
by Christoph

I oughta’ be ashamed of myself
How could I go out there and try to change myself
God has ordered my steps and I tried to rearrange myself
I blame myself

Because I knew all along that I could have asked God for help
I was so busy tryin’ to make a name for myself
Out there tryin’ to play the game of life and messed around and gamed myself
I thought I was finally free, but I chained myself
In the world, wilin’ out, now Im tryin’ to tame myself
I believed that I was fit, but I crippled, crutched and caned my health
I received so much money, but yet I still restrained my wealth
There is no way I can even begin to explain my myself
I shamed myself

God, I pray that you help me to see that I can reclaim myself
Wash me clean of all sin because I stained myself
I will give you all of the credit Lord and defame myself
I proclaim myself a child of God

Why I wrote this poem...
This poem was written amongst a self reflection period of my life.  I wrote this poem in my early 20s, during a time when I strayed from the path God had laid out for me.  However, I'm grateful for His grace and mercy because I didn't too far to where I could hear Him saying, "Come back!"  This is when the conviction set in.  And often time we mistake conviction with condemnation.  We start to condemn out selves instead of just allowing the conviction of our hearts lead us back to His presence.  The premise of this poem is simply me being honest with myself and God about how I know I messed up.  I knew that it was myself and not the devil this time.  "I blame myself."  We are quick to blame the devil for the things we consciously screw up on.

All in all, I ran down the list of shameful activities I participated in and, in the end, asked God for his assistance and guidance as it relates to walk upright and in accordance with His will for my life.  Lastly, I made a commitment or a "rededication" to striving to do things the right way.  Notice, I used the word strive ...because I recognize that I will fall short of His glory from time to time.  But I reclaim and ..."proclaim myself a child of God."